As I am now well over one thousand days living as a Hobo in a tent (yep, still!) and before that on the beach and on the streets, I thought I might enlighten you on one of my average days of my mindboggling Journey to 'not being a Hobo' land.
Seeing today isn't yet complete, let's try yesterday, huh?
OK, pretty normal start, with one biiiig, ginormous breakthrough. 'Birdie' my invisible, delicious, musically talented alarm clock began her glorious cooo cooo chant at 4.30, except this time I was waiting!!!! I let her do her routine for about 5 minutes, instead of the usual 30 minutes or so. I sloooowly opened the front door of La Chateau Tento (unzipped the zipper!). Cautiously I peeked to see if I could find her after seemingly millions of failed attempts. And there, on a branch only 3 metres from me......BIRDIE....in all her glory. Well, I almost peed ma pants. Not only that, when she cooo cooo-ed, I could see her throat moving as she sang to me. Yep, proof that she was the real deal, no Milly Vanilly (or whatever you called that fake duo), no miming. I slooowly pointed my $10 iPhone (i own it outright) with camera waiting and....CLICK....CLICK... 5 shots before Birdie took off, disgusted at having been discovered. After my little victory dance I checked the 'My Pics" in my diePhone and........ you wouldn't believe it, there are pictures, and in the pictures, bush....and trees....and branches....and....oh.... NO BIRDIE!!!! Seriously, are you scaaared for me? I think it's a sign. Maybe something to do with my passion for all things mystic. Maybe Buddha in birdie form. Oh dear...... (to be continued if I can get Birdie again, or get a new iPhone.......)

The rest of the day was pretty stock standard for a Hobo of my calibre. Down to the beach, bit of a jog and swim. Then a good dose of meditation after the stressful opening to the day. The 3 km quick walk into the Office (local library). Check emails and status of a few proposals, do blog thingie. But I was a bit pekish (sorta hungry) and I haven't been eating really well lately. I've stopped going to the Soup Kitchens because, weeeell they have contributed enough to my STORY after three years and there are just too many....aaarrgghhmm...wot you say....aaarrgghhmm.....sorta NEGATIVE type patrons (like criminals, drug dealers, addicts, alcoholics) that hang out. SO.... I decided I was going to cook up the BIIIIG meal. Off to the grocers. Two potatoes, two onions, one tomato, two mushrooms, two vegie patties,  two shazlicks?, and two pieces of bacon, later and I was armed and dangerous! 3 km quick loaded walk back to La Chateau, off to the Conference Room (picnic table), crank up the bar-b and next thing THE GREATEST meal ever cooked by a straight Hobo! As I was just finishing my scrumptious meal, and almost belching with fullness.......

"Hello".
Seriously I almost peed ma pants for the second time in one day. Two members of the local Constabulary came to say "Hello" (no not like in the photo, sorta eggs aggerated a bit!). After a routine check and ID I proceeded to give them the 'Trigger, Celebrity Hobo" bit. Anyway, they were really nice guys and seemed interested in my tale of woe. I gave them the blog site to have a look at my journey (Thanks fellas!). Actually I have quite a few 'routine' checks and I appreciate every one of them as they help keep me as safe as I can be living the way I do. In fact in my current La Chateau Tento location I have had 'da boys in blue' through my tent 3 times in 12 months. How do I know? I've watched them! Anyway, I should be back into the real world again soon. So after my BIG DAY OUT I was quite exhausted. I cleaned and washed up a bit, took off back to La Chateau Tento, read a little of "Recovering The Soul" until lights out.
Just another day in Hobo Land, or more importantly another STEP on my JOURNEY. This RE-INVENTION sure has it's moments.......
                                            ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz...................
                                            ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

      "I held her baby and felt this glow. I realised what it was. Babies just come from God. They have God Dust all over them. When we hold them a little God Dust rubs off on us. When we're first born we've just come from God and as we age we move back toward him. We start getting God Dust on us again"
                                                                                    - Melody Beattie, "The Grief Club"

Hello, hello, hello (my new kid's song!). Welcome to WOM, Trigger's Word Of The Month. It can also stand for Word Of Mouth if you don't like the 'the' making it WOTM in the first one. Hmmmm....
I'm sure you are convulsing with excitement and anticipation at this new age revelation! I'll stick with WOM for Word Of Month. Anyway as I draw closer to Dementia and Alzheimers I'll probably forget next month. So......
EGODUMP
Now if you have been a blog loyalist and maybe even have read my book, you will know that I just love making up 'stuff', especially new words for the Oxford Concise Dictionary. Words like Needsearch and Negob, which I wrote Chapters about in my book. I mean I haven't noticed them yet in the Dic. but I don't think there has been a new edition since I published my book. Anyway EGODUMP, if you haven't already guessed is really a combination of two words EGO and, of course, DUMP. I'm sure most of you are familiar with a DUMP, sorta big rubbish bin thingie. DUMP can also be what bubba leaves in it's nappy after bot-bot, or what puppy leaves on carpet! But in any case DUMP is what you must do to the EGO to get a good trip happening.
Now EGO is just a horrible, horrible word, and in fact in the dictionary means "part of the mind that reacts to reality and has sense of individuality, idealisation of oneself, self-esteem, activity etc. devoted entirely to one's own interest or feelings". Dictionaries are just soooo, ahhmm, boring in their definitions. What EGO means in Trigger real life terms is "bad ass attitude" or "up itself person". Now, that's better (see I can spell, coooool!).
I used to have an EGO. You know gooood looooking, greeaat bod, smaaart, wiiinner, smooooth, luuvable, huggable, bonkable..... You know. Anyway all of it was pretty much spot on! Matter of fact it still is. Come to think of it not much has changed! Just got older!
Oh, sorry, aahhm, the EGO thingie.
Well, when I hit Lucifer's pitchfork and got the jab up the blurter, I knew it was time for a change. And the first thing to go had to be the EGO. I had to lose it in a big way. And so the story began. The knowledge accumulation began. The spiritual and meditation training began. THE JOURNEY BEGAN....

To do this properly I had to lay the foundation for the story. That meant mass exposure about my homeless life. That meant one and a half million people seeing me on National television and it was ME who orchestrated it. Well, over the last 30 years or so of Corporate World I have got to meet a loootta people. The closer I got to going public the more nervous I got. My EGO was going to get smashed. And so it did. Big time!
But you know what happened when the EGO got DUMPED? It was like Mel Gibson's last word in Braveheart "FREEDOM". I lost the EGO. I also lost the FEAR. I became the ME I wanted to be! No more caring what other people think. Just build the dream and believe. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Other's opinions are not important. Only my own self BELIEF. If I make the dream realistic with my own skills and attributes I WILL MAKE IT. No EGO to tell me what to do.
You know where my EGO is.........

"After all it's the journey that is the reward. And the answers must be  around the next bend in the path"
                                                                                                        -    Steve Jobs

It would have been nice to have the 'me now' when I left school. Like many of us I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had completed a maths/science course but had no idea why. My older brothers had done very well for themselves with one a doctor, one a Senior Executive in the public sector and one an architect. My mum had died and my dad wasn't well and living with my brother in the country. I ended up working in Local Government Administration, my first job being to open the mail! I completed a Diploma in Business Studies and stayed in Local Government for the next 15 years. I hated it. I was lost. It took me 15 years of my life to do nothing. Achieve nothing. Go nowhere. I knew that I was destined for something where I could use my head so I found a job with BP. Things got a bit better because the job was better. But then cutbacks and a 'golden handshake' after 5 years. Hmmmm...... what now?
I used my golden handshake to live for the next 12 months but the job market was hard. When I ran out of cash I reluctantly got a commission only job as a finance broker, which led to a new career in finance, banking and finally Financial Planning. Great! I did OK but all along I never once 'bounced' out of bed looking forward to the day ahead. Pretty sad, huh? Then I had a crack. I got greedy and lost. BANG. Crash and burn. Then this.......

What a quick sick story. What's worse it's about me! I don't like sad stories and I'm not telling any more. I'm going to commit to telling good stories. And the only way to do that is to CREATE the stories and make them good. A great way to start a good story is to begin with a not so good story and then make it a whole lot betterer (erer!).  A whole lot betterer(er). Well I've used the bad story so far to create a very solid foundation for THE good story. That's because I was soooo successful at making my BAD story so baaad. Hmmmmmm........... so saaad..... As a matter of fact I have made the story soooo BAD that the media gave it a whole lotta publicity and so now the media is also helping me create the GOOD story. Woohooo, it just keeps getting better....erer!
And that saying at the top "The journey is the reward" is spot on. In fact it isn't SJs quote, it is a Zen Buddhism saying. But how true that statement has proven to be. Now my mindset is where I was when I left school with one BIIIIG difference. Now I KNOW where I am going. Now I am doing what I WANT and NEED to do. Before I complete my next book I am making sure that my badly decomposed body is dancing! The book's not finished. My story isn't finished.
Keep watching me. I KNOW what is going to happen and I NEED you to see it happen. Then you will know. It's not a fairy tale. It's not a delusion of grandeur. It is very, very REAL and you are seeing the story unfold before your very eyes. When you see 'the GOOD story' I'm going to ask you about your story, your GOOD story. And you will be able to create YOUR good story in DotsHQ. Seriously. So............

                                                ......What IS stopping you ?.....
Huh ?......

"The moon is the honey of all beings; all beings the honey of the moon. The bright eternal Self that is in the moon, the bright eternal Self that lives in the mind, are one and the same: that is immortality, that is Spirit, that is all"
                                                                                        - The Upanishads 800 - 500 B.C.

Buckets of bliss everyone. I remember reading a Steve Jobs book (can't remember which one) and SJ was wanting to write a script for his now famous Stanford University Commencement speech in 2005. He consulted a high profile Hollywood scriptwriter who advised him the best way to get people's attention from the very beginning was "Let me tell you a story...." which is indeed how he began that speech. So....
Let me tell you a story. Some stories 'ain't straight lines. In Tibet when devotees go on pilgrimages they go in circles. So too does this thingie we have called life. We begin our journey as a dot and travel in a circle back to the beginning. Then when we get there that beginning leads to an ending that leads to another beginning. Circles within circles that all connect.
I have spoken enough about pain and suffering that we all experience in life. THE BEST thing that could have happened to me is hitting my rock bottom. It opened me up. It made me SEE. It helped me find Mister SomeOne Out-There, my inner self. And by finding my MSOT my TRUE life journey began. One of those circles began. Painful events prepare you for something grand. The "everything happens for a reason" kicks in. It uplifts us. In my case it was when I was able to connect the dots and make my picture. That picture is my Destin-ee, my dream, my vision. That vision helped me create DotsHQ, which is where I am heading. So I now get the opportunity to not only connect the dots to create a picture for mySELF, but now I get to help all of wee dots to connect. My Destin-ee will complete another circle. And like in Tibet, I will begin another circle. See, the circles don't stop. Only this thingie we named life stops. And that is because man has limited itself to time and space. It took some hardship for me to begin to understand. It took some suffering to help me begin another circle. I know now that the circle is a continuous one. An eternal one. Knowing that now I do not limit mySELF. I know where I am heading to complete the greatest circle of all. My LIFE has a beginning and an end, but that is only because man has created those limits. The circles don't stop. The circles are eternal. See, I am a dot. You too are a dot. By watching me we are connecting. WE are creating a picture. We are connecting the dots. Welcome to DotsHQ. When we are connected we will continue our pilgrimage in circles, eternal circles, one STEP at a time.....just like in Tibet!

 "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them. That only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like"
                                                                                                 -   Lao Tzu

I thought I'd better keep going through my exercise books and I'm glad I did. I received a very frustrating reminder of some of the stuff I have painstakingly prepared over the last few years. Stuff that I can't move on yet, and the reason for that is that much of the prepared property needs to be secured by trademark, confidentiality agreements, and patents. Of course, all of that is expensive, some VERY expensive. Which means that I have to get a few of the other thingies going where I don't need intellectual property protection, such as copyright. So anyway that's what I am doing. I know what I have, and I won't risk it until I have the necessary protection (Do you use protection dot ?????). But in reading a lot of the scripts and advertising slogans, etc, I must admit I did get a little sad because I should be up and running and having my final destination well within my sights by now. The 'stuff' I am talking about is good, very good......BUT.......
if there is one thing I HAVE learned it is to be patient and at peace with what you have (or haven't which I suppose is more appropriate for me!). I began to think "ah, what the fuddy duddy, I might as well take a risk and have a crack. But just as quickly I came to my senses. No. It's happened before. Wait.
I grabbed the next exercise book. The front inside cover had a favourite mantra of mine handwritten. It settled me.

Be soft in your practice.
Think of the method as a fine, silvery stream
Not a raging waterfall.
Follow the stream, have faith in it's course.
It will go its own way
Meandering here, trickling there
It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices
Just follow it
Never let it out of your sight
It will take you
                           
 -    Sayings And Tales Of Zen Buddhism
                                                                William Wray

.........I'll Wait........

                    "Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering
                 Because when it comes you'll know you're dead"
                                                                                                - Tennesee Williams

When I decided to take on this journey I decided that I had to be true to myself and to people reading me. That is a commitment I must honour because the entire journey is REAL LIFE. It is full of good, bad, and sometimes very raw emotion. Iwon't leave it out if I believe it is needed. Last night I was reading a great old book "Autobiography Of A Yogi" which happened to be Steve Job's favourite book. It was more like his bible. I had a thought while reading which I often do. I have a looootta books in La Chateau Tento. Usually I can quickly pick a book and sometimes even page number of anything that has an impact. I can usually "see" where the referred topic is situated in the book and go straight to it. Not this time. Hmmmmmm......
I don't have anything much of value anymore and anything I do I carry in my back pack. this includes 10 exercise books of notes I have written since my financial demise. Like a diary, I suppose. I hardly ever look at them any more except on occasions like this. Oh boy! It's very hard to read some of the stuff going through my mind at the time. In book 2 I found some ramblings of a bad period I was having. I can't remember documenting them. Hmmmm..... But, it reinforces to me how far I have come since then. Sometimes I need reinforcement like that. So, here is a little bit of what I wrote back then. Word for word rambling......

See this guy. Well I don't know whether he thinks he's a cat with 9 lives, but somebody should tell him that he only has one (life, that is)! He is heading down toward the very hard place we all live......very, very fast. Splat fast! He has backed himself. He has carried out enough preparation to minimise the risk of splatting. In fact he is the only one in control of his one and only life at that point in time. Him and God! And in fact it is probably best that he IS the only one in control. If he left it to someone else to pull the strings then.....well, I'd be worried.
As I continually STEP forward on my journey, it becomes increasingly obvious how important it is that I CONTROL my own DESTINY. That I keep myself in a position where I, and only I, pull the strings. If not.....SPLAT! To embark on a huuuuge journey like mine requires constant monitoring of current steps in relation to distance from your FINAL DESTINATION, your vision, your dream, your destiny. Decisions need to be made. Some will be wrong, some will be right. But it is soooo important that I monitor and CONTROL, all that I can. Sometimes it is not possible to control everything. Sometimes you require decisions to be made by others in order to move forward. You give others CONTROL. Danger. If they don't pull your strings.....SPLAT! Let me give you an example.
 As you are aware I have created a lot of exposure for myself. I was in full control of how, when and where that exposure took place. I have laid a very valuable foundation where a lot of dots have seen me on my 'rock bottom' on National television, radio and print, as well as being the number 1 story on the internet. Next STEPS are to take advantage of that publicity. I have written some songs, some of which will be chart toppers. I KNOW. But I do not want to become a rock star, I want dots to pick up on MY STORY, my autofuturebiography. I have sent a proposal to the Mayor of the Gold Coast City Council, and the Divisional Councillor for Surfers Paradise. The proposal is to have an interactive Kids Concert on Surfers Paradise Beach. It will be a family day to remember and I will get national and international exposure for the Gig. But I need Council approval and support. I knew there would be a problem, however, and I highlighted it in the proposal. Having worked in Local Government Administration for over 15 years, and attended a million Council Meetings myself, I knew about 'red tape' and the inability to make quick decisions. So I asked the Mayor to "not be normal" and to give me a decision so I can move forward. Of course, as expected not even a reply or courtesy of a 'We have received your proposal......". Quite pathetic really. Maybe they think that HOMELESS men aren't real people and don't deserve courtesy! Anyway, THAT'S what happens when you lose CONTROL. What do you do?
GET CONTROL BACK! I won't SPLAT for anybody.
I'm glad I have taken back CONTROL. I don't like giving it to others to pull my strings.
The concert will now go elsewhere and the song "Nursery Rhymes" will go to NUMBER ONE. It has to. I'm pulling the strings again. 
                                                        
                                         ....IT IS MY DESTINY.....

Sorry, I had to do a continue or I would have kept writing the world's longest ever blog thingie. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, brain stuff. This is soooo much fun writing about this. I just love it.
So THOUGHTS. Were you thinking THOUGHTING. If you were you are such a clever little dot. See thoughting is different to thinking. What dot? Did you just ask....? Dot? I am soooo impressed. Where do thoughts come from? Now THAT is the question. I give up? and seemingly so does every other dot ever made. There is no part of the brain called Thought Station, or Dopamine Thought Pathway. Nup. Ah ah (no). And yet some medical books say that thoughts are generated through the blood and in fact are through our entire bodies. Hmmmmm...... Explains a lot really. I can see now how a lot of people think on their asses!
Right get back to serious mode. It was sooooo important that in finding my inner self, my Mister SomeOne Out-There, I could understand the functioning process of my breathtaking discovery of ME. Well seeing as nobody was owning up to originating THOUGHTS, or more appropriately, thoughting, I would have to find out mySELF. And then I found out the answer. Cooool. Yeeeehaaar. I got it. Thoughts come from the MIND. Yep, that's right, the MIND. Huh? Oh. Oh OK. The mind huh? Hmmmmmm........
OK, brain book needed. Let's see.... hmmmmm....mind....mind....in the brain.... Nup. Ah ah. No mind in brain. Maybe that's how "lost my mind" originated, d'ya think? This was becoming difficult. I started searching again. Goooogol gave me a googillion answers which kept pointing toward "consciousness". Hmmmmm.... let's have a look, shall we?
OK I just finished my 147, 627th book on consciousness, and I think I've worked ME out, me consciousness, that is...
See, they say that thoughts are energy and are calibratable, which means measurable. Scientifically proven apparently. So I wondered, how do these thoughts work. Well apparently thoughts eminate randomly from each of us to the tune of thousands per hour. That's a lot of thoughts. Thoughts are responsible for our feelings and emotions. Good emotions such as love and compassion are far more powerful energy wise than bad emotions such as envy and greed.
I was getting confused.
Where were these thoughts coming from? Pretty simple really. Obviously the MIND. Hmmmmmm.....
But there is no mind in the brain, right? Right. I found where the mind is though. Obviously it is in our consciousness. Oh, hooray, hooray.......
Hold on, where's this consciousness come from and where is it located? Pretty simple really. The soul. Yep. I'm sure you all got that one. And obviously, because consciousness is a universal consciousness, it is ONE with all of weee souls. And just to clear things up, in order to differentiate our weee souls from the big Kohuna, the universal ONE, we use a small 's' for our souls, and a big 'S' for the Soul of all souls. Pretty simple really......
And that my dear dots is the obvious answer to the question you were going to ask me. Well go on dots. Ask away. Go on now.....
                                    Why are our decomposed bodies dancing?????
Pretty simple really, when you THINK about it.

"Our Decomposed Bodies Are Dancing" is the title of my next book. Pretty cooool title, huh? I was going to call it "Busyness Backwards, Reversing Into Life" until I started studying a very difficult subject. ME! I have started the book but I can't finish it until I get DotsHQ going.
It is about my journey but more importantly it is about my comeback, and the reasons for it. I am a very logical person. I need to KNOW about stuff, STEP BY STEP. When I found Mister SomeOne Out-There, I had a lotta questions.....about me. And so I started reading, researching and I suppose, studying. Studying, not to get a degree, but to KNOW stuff. I needed to know how everything works. How we walk, look, touch, listen. I'm sure you get the drift. So I read medical books about the human body. Absolutely fascinating when you get into it. The answers to my questions about how everything in the body works were pointed to the brain. Cooool. So I read brain books. You know left and right hemisphere, that sorta stuff. I found out that the right hemisphere is like a radio transmitter and receives signals. Cooool. The left hemisphere seems to be the workhorse and does all of the analysing and problem solving, directions to the body and so on. Aaalright, gimme five and cut that jive! But i got caught up on the right side. Because it receives signals, it is the area I became very interested in because it is where ideas and creativity originate. Now I was into it, big time. I started to learn all about the various parts of the brain, pre-frontal cortex, dopamine pathways, neurons and heaps of other good stuff that explained SOME stuff. Then I started looking for the MIND. Hmmmmm.... That's funny I always assumed the mind was in my head, a part of my brain. Nope. Wrong. Well then what explains my crazy behaviour, my creativity, my thoughts. Hmmmmm..... Woooops, hold on, go back a bit. What did I say? THOUGHTS????

Weeeell, talk about opening a can of worms! This was an "ah ha" moment, an epiphany, as my friend Ness says. It turns out that the brain, is a very clever little brain. It tells body bag what to do. Brain is the dictator, the general. It makes body come alive. That is soooo cooool. I was hooked! I had to find out more.
OK, who tells brain thingie what to do? Hello. Ka kerm (cough, cough). Who or what gives the brain it's ability to do what it does? Hold on. Hmmmmm.... This was starting to get me interested........


                                            (to be continued...................)

Old photo time again. It's sorta an addiction. With all of the graphic art, photoshop, computers, tablets, iPhones, and all the other stuff, I like to look at something old and grand. It gives some idea of how far we have come and how fast we are moving, as mankind that is.
I wonder what sort of a life journey this kid had. I hope he had a really cooool time, just as I hope you all have a wonderful, rewarding lifetime. He's probably a bit luckier than us in many ways because when this photo was taken it was well pre-television. No computers or FaceBook, no skateboards, no X-Box, no dvds and cds, no MacDonalds, KFC, shopping malls and no distractions from having a good time. Instead there were friends, real friends.....and games. There was mateship, not peer pressure. And there was a lot more time to do fun things. And there was more time to LOVE.
What beautiful memories, although the kids of today probably wouldn't think so I guess.
TIME was slower. Still the same number of seconds, minutes and hours in a day. But it was slower. Everything was slower. There was time to look around. Time to smell a garden. Time to feel the air. Time to hear birds singing to you. Time to enjoy life. There weren't as many years in the average life but family, and love for one another, provided a more fulfilling quality of life. There was time to talk. I mean real talk, not FaceBook talk.
So where am I going with all of this TIME stuff? Hmmmmm.......
Well, when we suffer in life, as we ALL do at some stage, TIME seems to get lost amongst the tragedies, the heartbreaks and the devastation. We tend to prioritise our own sorrow. We get lost in our own sympathy. It's a natural reaction. Where the TIME factor comes in is the way in which we are able to comeback from our suffering. Sometimes it can take years, sometimes it will take the remainder of our lives. That can be a whole lotta TIME. Time that we don't have. Time that doesn't belong to us. We were given the time of our lives as a gift. The time is a limited and very valuable resource, more valuable than any material possessions or attachments we have accumulated so far.
There IS a reason we have been given our time. There IS a reason some of us get more than others. We do not and will never know the answer to those questions. But we can control the way we use our lives.
Each and every one of us has a Mister SomeOne Out-There locked up inside. The key is to recognise this gift and to answer our inner door and let MSOT come out with the gifts we didn't even know we had.
If and when that happens, only then will we understand how precious TIME has become.
Like me, I have been able to re-invent and change course. I don't have any EXTRA time but I know what time it is. Now I understand that what I have is...
THE TIME OF MY LIFE. It is limited and it is finite. The time will finish and so will my life. And so I owe it to myself, not any other person, not family, not friends. I owe it to mySELF to use the time I have to say thankyou for what I have been given. so it is my responsibilty to take those gifts from MSOT and use them the way they were intended to be used when they were given to me.
I understand fully, and I am doing that.
Soon I will die and my body will decompose over TIME. It sounds harsh but it is a given fact. My body will become one single digit added to the 106 billion bodies that have died and decomposed before me. They all had a life, and within that life were given some time.
So seeing that you are watching my journey I need you to understand what drives me. It is crutial to your own TIME that you understand this as well. Even amongst the suffering and the tragedy the clock is ticking and our time diminishes one second at a time, until there are no more seconds, no more heartbeats. no more TIME. Until THE END.
But I have a secret.......
                         ........Our decomposed bodies are dancing.................