"I wish I was a TV star
I wish that I could sing
I wish I was a ballerina
that dances into dreams
Or maybe even a football hero
Like Becks that makes 'em bend
A Supermodel like that Giselle
A brain surgeon to make me mend
How cool to be an astronaut
To cry 'into Space I've been'
I'd love to be a President,
Prime Minister, King or Queen
Rich and famous, oh yeah what a gig
So I'll dream myself into being big
And when I see the vision of what I'll be
I can smile a while for the OPPORTUNITY"
aka Brendan Lauritz
I JUST DIDN'T GET IT. Worried about what others think about me, especially the women. Wanting to be somethin' else. Something amazing. I wanted love baaaad. I would have paid for it. Sometimes in a roundabout kinda way I did.
DAMN IT. I kept looking for it. But I didn't quite know what I was looking for. What was it? Happiness? Nup. Throw away excuse. Everyone talks about finding happiness.
COP OUT. Define happiness. Well go on (talkin' to myself!). Got a pretty broad definition hasn't it? Wot's going to make me happy? Hmmm...
GOT ME. I was just looking. Go out. Get drunk. Find somebody. Get my cheap thrills. Feed the EGo a little bit more. Repeat. Look. Repeat. Look.......
See, herein lies the problem. We JUST DON'T have a lot of decades to swallow up. One decade is three thousand six hundred and fifty days. Sounds a lot. IT"S NOT. It's a BLINK in TIME.
But I'm one of the lucky ones. A bit of bad stuff like homelessness steered me in the direction of 'FIX', the land of repair. FINALLY.....
I still kept looking. Nothing much changed there. But attention to detail changed. I began to look for what I was looking for! Sounds pretty craaaazzeee, huh?
But it's not. That poem above explains the turnaround. I was dreaming for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be everybody else. I was looking at everybody else and wishing I was them. I wanted what they had. I kept LOOKING. I was sad. One decade. Two decades. Three..... Oh Oh. Heeeeelp. Please Someone Out-There HEEEEELP.
After decades of looking. Wandering around aimlessly I FOUND what I was LOOKING for. The Upper Case. You know the rest. So........
1. The OPPORTUNITY in the form of Angelina Jolie who walks up to you at a bus stop and says 'Excuse me I'm an OPPORTUNITY, would you like to take advantage of me? and,
2. The OPPORTUNITY that you CREATE yourself. OhK...
See, in the first option I was never looking for Angelina Jolie. I mean, get real! The opportunity happened by pure chance.
But in the second I was LOOKING to CREATE the opportunity. There was a far greater chance that the OPPORTUNITY would come knocking, simply because I was putting myself in a position to take advantage of any more ' Angelinas' that might want to be taken advantage of. Put simply I was LOOKING in the RIGHT DIRECTION.
And so that's where I am now. My life has changed because of the direction I am LOOKING. I am creating opportunities that I just couldn't SEE before......
And I AM AWARE of TIME.