WISE GUY
"Now knowing the reason for my overall demise
Not learning from life, I was simply unwise
Selfish and greedy I pumped up my ego
To crash was inevitable, a new start up from zero
Oh thank God for the suffering, the grief and the pain
To be blessed with the hardship from which I might gain
Searching for reason beyond self, I will listen and learn
Each tear drop of self pity into the ocean of wisdom will turn
Without experience and knowledge there can be no growth
But to learn from the pain enlightened wisdom your oath
And once attained that wisdom must be shared
With those most in need to show how you cared"
- TriggerDot
aka Brendan Lauritz

I just read my last BLOG thingie which I don't do very often mainly because I get depressed enough without reading my own thoughts on life! But I did notice that I wrote about one of my favourite subjects ...... GETTING DEADED.
Bit sad really. Anyway to get us all in a more cheerful, jovial kinda mood I thought for the first time ever-erer I would begin with a joke. Ready? OhK
Q. Why do deep sea divers always fall backwards into the water?
A. Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat!
Well, I thought it was funny. Hmmm, end of my days as a Comedian, huh? OhK back to the good stuff. Death, Miser-ee, Depression ...... All the stuff you seem to like....... Oh, by the way, keep tuning in! I expect to drastically pervert the course of my Destin-ee in the not too distant future. Oh Oh........
My dear sister gave me a wonderful pressie for Chrissie ('present for Christmas' for normal people!). A short course in Philosophy. And for the man about town who has everything ... N-N-N-Not ... I am pleased to report that I went to my first class a couple of nights ago. I went with an open mind with few expectations other than worrying a little that I may come across as a somewhat loose canon. So I wore my best (and only) pair of jeans, a pair of religious socks (holy) with shoes (as opposed to usual thongs or 'Hippie' bare feet) and a T shirt without holes. I let my rather long locks (of hair) hang naturally just like the rest of me. Getting there early I couldn't find the premises so I sat in the car and waited for the Dalai Lama and Maharishi Yogi lookalikes to guide me in. Hmmmm...... Weeell, that didn't work. So I asked a Street Cleaner for directions, and, being an expert in all thingies rubbish he guided me in like an usher. The building had a sign out the front "Philosophy" but my redefined mind quickly translated that into "Land Of The Lost Souls". I was HOME !!!!!!!
Bit sad really. Anyway to get us all in a more cheerful, jovial kinda mood I thought for the first time ever-erer I would begin with a joke. Ready? OhK
Q. Why do deep sea divers always fall backwards into the water?
A. Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat!
Well, I thought it was funny. Hmmm, end of my days as a Comedian, huh? OhK back to the good stuff. Death, Miser-ee, Depression ...... All the stuff you seem to like....... Oh, by the way, keep tuning in! I expect to drastically pervert the course of my Destin-ee in the not too distant future. Oh Oh........
My dear sister gave me a wonderful pressie for Chrissie ('present for Christmas' for normal people!). A short course in Philosophy. And for the man about town who has everything ... N-N-N-Not ... I am pleased to report that I went to my first class a couple of nights ago. I went with an open mind with few expectations other than worrying a little that I may come across as a somewhat loose canon. So I wore my best (and only) pair of jeans, a pair of religious socks (holy) with shoes (as opposed to usual thongs or 'Hippie' bare feet) and a T shirt without holes. I let my rather long locks (of hair) hang naturally just like the rest of me. Getting there early I couldn't find the premises so I sat in the car and waited for the Dalai Lama and Maharishi Yogi lookalikes to guide me in. Hmmmm...... Weeell, that didn't work. So I asked a Street Cleaner for directions, and, being an expert in all thingies rubbish he guided me in like an usher. The building had a sign out the front "Philosophy" but my redefined mind quickly translated that into "Land Of The Lost Souls". I was HOME !!!!!!!

Now 5 years living in a tent probably doesn't do one's mental state a whoooole loootta good but I seemed to have come through the experience more 'the sum of all parts' rather than a 'whole', if you get the drift. But the experiences of soup kitchens, drug addicts, alcoholics, ex-cons, bashings, suicides, overdoses, etc., you would think would put me in good stead to 'dig' a course like philosophy, no? And of course I did spend just about every day at the local Library 'knowledging up' because I needed some sort of help to get me outta the mess I was in. So what better way than to have a chat with Einstein, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Descartes and all the other givers of wisdom. One would think that I would be able to contribute a little amongst all of weee fellow philosophical hippies. In fact I should fit into 'The Land Of Lost Souls' like a glove on to a cancer searching finger (not that I'm paranoid or anything!). I let my hair down rather than the tied back look so that I would fit in with the enlightened ones. I even considered ripping a few holes in my jeans but as they are the only pair I have, my economic wisdom from previous educational disasters suggested I shouldn't. Anyway as I trundled up the stairs toward Lost Soul Land I was excited to meet my hippie peers. Another sign directed me to 'Philosophy' and there, down the corridor of hope and good will, was Jess, one of the course co-ordinators. It was right then that I became a little concerned. Jess was immaculately dressed and appeared quite normal. Hmmmm..... Disguises like this couldn't fool a learned apprentice philosopher like Moi. After all, 1812 straight days at the Library (paranoid schizophrenia do you think!) had provided sound research about the Church Of Scientology and other cults..... I was well prepared, and guarded. Jess directed me to my seat. A normal one. In a room. Pretty standard one. With a lot of other seated Lost Souls. With a half baked smile I looked around........ A nice lady sat down in the seat next to me. She gave me the cutest smile and asked me if the seat was vacant, introducing herself as 'Milly' in the process. "hi Milly, nice to meet you" I smiled back. Milly. Yeah right. My paranoid philosophical self wondered if every Lost Soul had an alias, and whether a response such as 'Hey, I'm TriggerDot' would light the wik of the loose canon.......

I looked around cautiously. You know how you get the feeling that every set of eyes in the room are fixed on your very being. Shakingly strange. Every Lost Soul within view (I dared not look around) looked 'normal'. In fact, it appeared that some were still in their Corporate attire having come straight from work. Yeah right. I was seasoned. A hardened homeless man. I knew.......
Anyway "Squeak" the teacher called us to attention. No Socrates lookalike at all. Hmmm ...., maybe a decoy. Instead an elderly stateswoman that supposedly ooooooozed wisdom. Or so one would expect from a learned "Little Grasshooper'. I saw her lips moving and assumed she was talking. My hearing aid was already on max but nothing as I stretched my neck a few metres forward without the body following. Not a decibel. And yet the others seemed to be comfortably transcending. I was frustrated. This was such an important time in my life. The attainment of wisdom. "Squeak" was seemingly enjoying what she was saying. Now I don't want to appear the successor to Norman Bates but I was feeling cheated. The wisdom was not shared wisdom. I felt like grabbing Squeak's jaw and looking down into her Adam's Apple to see if there were any vibrations. But I stayed calm. I raised a finger (not THE finger!). She politely asked if I had a question. I politely asked if she could whisper a little louder. Squeak apologised and promised to squeak louder.... (I think philosophers squeak because they are all about peace, and calm, and meditation, and quiet .....silent quiet ..... 'zip' quiet!)
And with that I became 'shared'. I was one with everybody else. I even began to feel 'normal', like everybody else. I heard a lot more from Squeak although old habits die hard and I did have to rely on the handouts to 'tweek' the Squeak. And of course I didn't let myself down. I had to ask over a thousand philosophical questions to re-enforce my reputation as the fruitiest loop of the Lost Souls. As expected it was indeed me, and only me, who deserved the title of Lost Soul.......
All of the other Lost Souls, including Squeak, were 'normal'!
Can't wait to share some more wisdom next week in the Land Of The Lost Souls. Hmmm.... I wonder if this Philosophy makes weee Lost Souls intelligent as well as wise.
May the dust of many feathers guide you through the light of euphoric existence and into the eternal fields of Little Grasshopper's memory. Amen.
Squeak.......
Anyway "Squeak" the teacher called us to attention. No Socrates lookalike at all. Hmmm ...., maybe a decoy. Instead an elderly stateswoman that supposedly ooooooozed wisdom. Or so one would expect from a learned "Little Grasshooper'. I saw her lips moving and assumed she was talking. My hearing aid was already on max but nothing as I stretched my neck a few metres forward without the body following. Not a decibel. And yet the others seemed to be comfortably transcending. I was frustrated. This was such an important time in my life. The attainment of wisdom. "Squeak" was seemingly enjoying what she was saying. Now I don't want to appear the successor to Norman Bates but I was feeling cheated. The wisdom was not shared wisdom. I felt like grabbing Squeak's jaw and looking down into her Adam's Apple to see if there were any vibrations. But I stayed calm. I raised a finger (not THE finger!). She politely asked if I had a question. I politely asked if she could whisper a little louder. Squeak apologised and promised to squeak louder.... (I think philosophers squeak because they are all about peace, and calm, and meditation, and quiet .....silent quiet ..... 'zip' quiet!)
And with that I became 'shared'. I was one with everybody else. I even began to feel 'normal', like everybody else. I heard a lot more from Squeak although old habits die hard and I did have to rely on the handouts to 'tweek' the Squeak. And of course I didn't let myself down. I had to ask over a thousand philosophical questions to re-enforce my reputation as the fruitiest loop of the Lost Souls. As expected it was indeed me, and only me, who deserved the title of Lost Soul.......
All of the other Lost Souls, including Squeak, were 'normal'!
Can't wait to share some more wisdom next week in the Land Of The Lost Souls. Hmmm.... I wonder if this Philosophy makes weee Lost Souls intelligent as well as wise.
May the dust of many feathers guide you through the light of euphoric existence and into the eternal fields of Little Grasshopper's memory. Amen.
Squeak.......