"Mirror mirror on the wall
Whose the fairest of them all
Not you Trigger you've aged real bad
Look no more into its fantasy or it'll make you very sad
That pretty green mirror is cursed it seems
The 'image builder' hacking away at your dreams
For with that cute green handle is a reflection of a lie
If it creates that false image again I swear I will die"
- TriggerDot in depression
See, here was I thinking that a few years of living in the wilderness like Jeremiah Johnson, breathing in the freshest air in the Universe, running like Scotty in John and Betty, swimming in the cleanest refreshing ocean of the Earth.....
Weeeell, seriously you'd think that such a nomadic existence would do some sorta good. You know, rejuvenate the hardened skin after over abuse by my arch enemies Uncle Stress and Auntie Pressure. You'd think night after night looking at the stars, meditating and praying..... Well I wasn't expecting to look a teenager but......
It's that damned green 'image builder'. It's cursed. Rejuvenation huh? The shock I got in the reflection of the shiny green image builder with the cute little green handle didn't end there. More shocks were to come...........
I had just poured a nice hot cuppa when out of nowhere the entire sand dune vegetation foresty area was lit up by two torches, seemingly more powerful than the Hubble big peroscope thingie. OMG. What now. In 'change the nappy' terror I turned off my little torch and watched the laser light show search.... for something?????
Hmmmm, who were they? Were they after l'il 'ole MOI?
Finally, even after shining their tools of enlightenment in my direction they seemed to darken down. My little hole of camouflage appeared to have done it's job. I snickered. Then, OMG. These two piercing sheets of light hit me at the same time. Time to change my nappy!
As it turned out there had been a complaint lodged by the regulatory authority who needed to do some...... wait for it...... some REJUVENATION !
See, since Tornado Take Me Out we have had a month of non stop rain and it's made all the green stuff flourish, but apparently it needs a little TLC or something. Anyway it means I'm being shifted on somewhere??
These lovely plain clothes detectives who were extremely diplomatic about the whole affair, informed me that there needed to be some work done on the vegetation green stuff thingies around me and that I would have to move on...... immediately!
So daybreak this morning I had to relocate, or at least try to relocate. I have had to move to wherever I can lay my hat for the time being. I think this is about my 8th or 9th shift for various reasons. Bit of a pain in the butt but (butbut, butt butt, but butt!) my journey is coming to a head pretty soon with songs and media attention so I'm not too worried. I did a bit of filming for later on so you will all be able to have a good laugh at my ups and downs.
In the meantime I have to do a lot of THINKING about my own REJUVENATION. That shiny green image builder with the cute little green handle has done a lot more damage than shattering my confidence with false images. The curse of the little shiny green mirror has infiltrated my psyche and joined force with the evil NEGOBS to test my endurance once again.
NOTHING can stop me little GREEN MONSTER. Not even the dirty nappies and the continued attempt to defame my very BEING through the display of false images.
YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME YOU SOON TO BE CRACKED GREEN VOMIT!