SAY WHAT?

Yeah I know, pink. I stole it!

OK, well I got over that little kid stage. As you can see, now I'm a really BIG kid....that sucks a pink dummy (well that's what mumma gave me!). Oh, yeah that's what I call her, in my head at least. Mumma has been trying for months to get me to talk. But I won't. I'm never going to talk 'cause I've seen what it does to big kids like me. See you have to watch these mums because they take advantage of you. If I give in and start talkin' then she'll think I understand things and then she will start ordering me around. Same with walking. She thinks I can't walk. Huh, aas iiif? Yeah right. I just don't walk around when she's looking. Play dumb all the time and then I get my own way. But she's really giving me a hard time lately she just keeps saying to me "Mumma, MMMumma, MMMumma. Like right in my face. I tell ya I don't like it. If she gets within range I'm gunna kick her into the next planet.......

                                                        CAST OF CHARACTERS

Bubba                                   They still call me Bubba, but as you can see I'm a really
                                                Biiig kid
Mumma                                Mumma TaKnow, also known as Dianne, once known
                                                 as OINK!

                                                                    THE SCENE

At home the big dominatrix keeps hittin' me up to talk. I just giggle at her and do that ridiculous goo goo baby talk. It has her fooled. One of Mumma's girlfriends (you remember Pip). yeah well she's got 3 kids and she keeps tellin' mum that I should be talking like all of hers did at that age. Mumma gets really peed orf when Pip loads up and goes home (like every single day, I mean why do they have to get together EVERY day. I mean gimme a break willya?). As soon as she walks out the door it starts Maaarma, Maaarma, Maarma.....
Sometimes I almost give up. She becomes brain draining. I think I'll either have to talk or maybe kill her. I haven't decided yet......

Mumma                        Maarma, Maarma, Maarma. Say Maar...
Bubba                            Oh shut the f up. It's really getting to me..
                                        ("Mmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmmm"...that
                                        really gets to her because she thinks I'm about
                                        to say Mumma). Stupid beach
Mumma                        Cuumon darling say Mum-ma, Just once honey
                                        Maarma, mumumumum....
Bubba                            Right that's it. Enuff is Enuff. I'm reporting her 
                                         to the child abuse agency....
Mumma                        (Picking me up. Mind you completely starkers.
                                            Not a stitch on. I mean she might like running 
                                            around naked, but some people have morals..)
                                        "Please darling. Just say Mumma, Maaarma"
Bubba                            Oh no. Please don't do that. No, not the tickle. No
                                        Pleeease don't do that. "Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, googoo
                                        ah ha, googoo, ah ha (laughing if you 'ain't got it!)
Bubba                            OK no more. I warned you beach. Ready, aim, 
                                        fiiiire......
Mumma                       Aaaaarrggh, oh you peed in mumma's face, you naughty
                                        boy.
Bubba                            Ah ha googoo, ah ha googoo. Y'ar lucky I didn't
                                        slam dunk ya with a browny missile! I hope you learn
                                        from your mistakes maarma. Now go get me some clothes
                                        and wipe yourself up.
                                        "Damn big thingies!"


                                                          Tomorrow :    How Do They Do That?

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