".....Oh Oh....."
When I first started living in the bush the biggest fear I had was spiders and snakes. So to begin with I just threw a cheap tent up on some short grass out in the open. Of course it wasn't long before I was moved on. So then I started moving closer into the bush, and closer to the creatures I hated. I mean I was really scaaaared of them. Ship scared! Like scaaaared enough to have a heart attack before they looked at me! But then the spiders started on me. Big ones. Crawling up my arms when I picked up bags. I even had one, big one, that I accidentally flicked into my mouth when I was shaking the towel I had left out overnight. But like everything you become used to the lay of the land if you live in it long enough. Where I have been laying up for the last 3 years there are some of the most poisonous snakes in the world with Taipans, Brown and King Brown, Red Bellied Black, to name but a few. But then you realise that they are just as scared of you as you are of them. So I have had many encounters, like stepping on them, curled around trees a foot from my tent and so on. There are a couple of species that are aggressive and will go after you. But then you learn the warning signs, particularly the other animals and birds, like my three crow friends. When they are crowing and on the fence I hurdle every day I know the slitherers are around and to watch for them. But then there was the other night..........
Dense bush and scrub all around me
Just over a week ago, I was following another homeless man who I am sure stole some stuff from my tent a few weeks back. When he saw me he tried to hide, but old Sherlock here had him covered! In my haste to keep track of him I wasn't watching in front and ran BANG smack into a light pole (stop laughing!). I heard them crack. It's happened many times before. I had fractured my ribs as I have done several times. Oh oh. I knew what I was in for. The pain gets bad over the first few days while the bruising comes out. It takes about 4-6 weeks to mend, or so I had found previously. But the first two weeks or so is BAAAAD pain. To breathe hurts baaaad. To sigh or take a deep breath is excrutiating. To cough or sneeze is a near death experience. I haven't been able to jump the fence on the way to my camp because of the pain so I have had to walk through some dense bush the last few days. No birds, no Gekko lizards, no bush rats. Danger! Snake danger. And I have seen them as I very carefully headed to my tent. And so to the story of the other night.......
I was in the tent reading with my little light, although it was another very bright moon night and there might as well have been a brass band and fireworks display out the front welcoming everybody into La Chateau Tento! It was almost bright enough to read anyway. The silouettes of the tree branches were like a picture screen on the tent wall. While laying there trying to breathe very softly because of the pain, I felt something underneath me. Hmmmm.... I didn't take much notice as big sand crabs quite often try to dig their way out through the tent floor. Bush rats quite often bite through the tent walls. But this felt, weeelll, biggererer. Hmmmm..... Then again. I hadn't seen any bush rats. I stopped reading. I took my glasses off. Then again. This time it felt like it was right underneath me. Oh oh. Caaaarefully I lifted up the corner of the mattress to see if there was anything INSIDE. Nup. Couldn't see anything. No holes. Hmmmm. Then IT moved big time underneath me. Oh shoot! Now I grabbed my knife when I saw it in the silouette of the moon on the tent wall. Slithering up the side. Oh oh....
Anyway nothing a good book couldn't fix. I lined it up and WHACK. Off it flew. Huh. Gone or so I thought. But this was one very unhappy mother of a serpent. I think it was caught underneath me. Next thing.....
SMAAASH into the side. Hooooly craap. Snakes don't do that, do they? I wacked it with the book again. Nup. It wasn't finished. I felt it under me. It must have been jammed. I moved.....quickly....over to the other side, screaming as the pain of the ribs got me......aaarrgghh.....faaarrker..... SMAAASH. The anaconda of all anacondas was going to finish me off. Now I was ship scaaared. I couldn't see it's silhouette. I got back onto the mattress. I couldn't feel anything underneath me. I waited. Nothing. My heartbeat was back down to 500 bpm! I thought about going out to check. Nup. I 'ain't THAT nuts!
Next morning I veeeery cautiously checked outside before opening the front door (fly zipper). Still holding my painful ribs I looked everywhere but nothing. And Birdie was coo-ing. And I saw a Gekko little lizard which wouldn't have been there if Godzilla the Anaconda was around!
Maybe it's time for me to move on d'ya think? If it was a sign it was a very scaaary one.
I don't know what it was, because it was sooo big and aggressive I suspect it was a King Brown, one of the deadliest in the world.
Oh well, just another night in Hobo Hell.
And I lived to tell THE STORY.................
Next Week : The Crocodile That Ate Me!
(only jokin'.....)
I was in the tent reading with my little light, although it was another very bright moon night and there might as well have been a brass band and fireworks display out the front welcoming everybody into La Chateau Tento! It was almost bright enough to read anyway. The silouettes of the tree branches were like a picture screen on the tent wall. While laying there trying to breathe very softly because of the pain, I felt something underneath me. Hmmmm.... I didn't take much notice as big sand crabs quite often try to dig their way out through the tent floor. Bush rats quite often bite through the tent walls. But this felt, weeelll, biggererer. Hmmmm..... Then again. I hadn't seen any bush rats. I stopped reading. I took my glasses off. Then again. This time it felt like it was right underneath me. Oh oh. Caaaarefully I lifted up the corner of the mattress to see if there was anything INSIDE. Nup. Couldn't see anything. No holes. Hmmmm. Then IT moved big time underneath me. Oh shoot! Now I grabbed my knife when I saw it in the silouette of the moon on the tent wall. Slithering up the side. Oh oh....
Anyway nothing a good book couldn't fix. I lined it up and WHACK. Off it flew. Huh. Gone or so I thought. But this was one very unhappy mother of a serpent. I think it was caught underneath me. Next thing.....
SMAAASH into the side. Hooooly craap. Snakes don't do that, do they? I wacked it with the book again. Nup. It wasn't finished. I felt it under me. It must have been jammed. I moved.....quickly....over to the other side, screaming as the pain of the ribs got me......aaarrgghh.....faaarrker..... SMAAASH. The anaconda of all anacondas was going to finish me off. Now I was ship scaaared. I couldn't see it's silhouette. I got back onto the mattress. I couldn't feel anything underneath me. I waited. Nothing. My heartbeat was back down to 500 bpm! I thought about going out to check. Nup. I 'ain't THAT nuts!
Next morning I veeeery cautiously checked outside before opening the front door (fly zipper). Still holding my painful ribs I looked everywhere but nothing. And Birdie was coo-ing. And I saw a Gekko little lizard which wouldn't have been there if Godzilla the Anaconda was around!
Maybe it's time for me to move on d'ya think? If it was a sign it was a very scaaary one.
I don't know what it was, because it was sooo big and aggressive I suspect it was a King Brown, one of the deadliest in the world.
Oh well, just another night in Hobo Hell.
And I lived to tell THE STORY.................
Next Week : The Crocodile That Ate Me!
(only jokin'.....)
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