"
TriggerDot
  • Trigger's BLOG
  • Home/About
  • The Journey
  • Working Backwards
  • Native To Creative
  • DotsHQ
  • Steps
  • Contact

THE BIRTH CANAL EXPRESS

8/22/2012

0 Comments

 
Picture
AGE : ZERO MINUS A FEW HOURS!
OK let's fast forward about 8 months plus or so. EB is no longer an embryo. That finished over 6 months ago. Now EB is well and truly a foetus with all body parts, brain and other accessories apparently in good working order. In fact Foetus is soon to become a fully fledged BUBBA. Dianne TaKnow, the incubator, is in the advanced stages of "lettin' it all hang out' and her best friend Pip (the same one as in my song 'Mad Like Your Dad') has come over to take her to hospital for the delivery. Dianne is worried. She wanted to be admitted yesterday but the hospital keeps monitoring her and think she is too early.
Meanwhile back in the oven of mum's tum.......

                                                    CAST OF CHARACTERS

                                Oink                Oven Incubator, Dianne TaKnow
                                Pip                    Oink's best friend
                                Bout                 'Bout to be a bubba but still a Foetus

                                                                THE SCENE

Dianne TaKnow's living room. Dianne is laying on the floor. She thinks her waters have broken (is that wot you say? I'm just a male author....). Her best friend Pip is on the phone to the nurse at the hospital waiting for the word to bring Dianne in. Bout the foetus, soon to be a bubba is cruisin' while snoozin' until..........

Oink:                    Aaaarrgghh.......
Pip:                 Now stay calm darling. We'll be off soon....
                                (Pip tries to calm the Oink.....)
                        I wonder if it will be a boy or girl?
                        I'm dyin' to know
Oink:            Aaaaarrgghh.......no your not....
Pip:                What?
Oink:            I'm Dianne TaKnow. Aaaaarrgghhh....
Pip:                Oh, that's fuuuneee..
                                Both girls break out into a fit of laughter. Meanwhile.......
Bout:            Oooooo Mmmmmm (stretching)
                        Hey you two nutters. I'm not deaf you know. I might be in the 
                        oven but I'm right next to you. Shutdaar........I'm tired.....
                        Wooooaa, aaghm, excuse me but, aaghm, I think I'm leaking..
                        Wooooaa, aaghm, ladies, aaghm, somebody's leakin' in da oven
                        OMG, it's the waterbed. The waterbed's sprung a leak. OMG...
Oink:            My waters have broken. Oh it's time to go...
Pip:                Right now darling (calmly). Let's take you off to hospital....
Bout:             OMG...Heeeelppp....What's happening...Call the fire brigade...
                        the oven's flooding...Oink dooooo something...have you got a 
                        repair kit to fix the leak...Oh no now what's goin'down.....
                        Aaargh, H.E.L.L.O aaaaghm, I'm spinning...I hope I'm still attached
                        to that rope thingie....
Oink:            Aaaaaarrgghh......
Pip:                Right dear now one foot into the car. Thaaaat's it...
Oink:            Pip stop talking to me like I'm an idiot. I'm giving Bir....
Bout:            Whooooaaaaa, I'm getting giddy. Water pressure dropping rapidly
                        Hey Oink I need help in here....(CLUNK)...Yikes...Aaaaghm.....
                        heeeelp...I hit my head on somethin', I'm aaaaghm sorta upside 
                        down in the oven here and my heads stuck between somethin'..
                        hellooooo, hellooooo...waterbed, pleeease come back...OINK....
                        do they have rosary beads in these oven incubators??? 
                        heeeelp (gulp)......I'm choking in here people...there's something
                        strangliiiiing me (cough cough)..I'm turning blue...should I be blue
                        someone....hello....bye everybody...looks like we'll have to cut the
                        series short....aaaahaaagh (muffled cry).....

                                                Tomorrow :                Big Thingies

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Trigger is on his comeback journey, and it's a very BIG one. Like a gripping suspense thriller, watch Trigger's life unfold in front of you.

    Archives

    October 2014
    September 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    April 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    Steps
    The Journey
    Working Backwards

    RSS Feed


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.