THE BUZZ

"Come unto me my precious gift
Give me a reason a purpose a lift
The messages you bear are random at best
Oh why won't you show me more light for this quest

You wait for my signal my desperate plea
And when all hope is torn from me you provide what I need
The waiting it hurts the fire of frustration it burns
I have only one life and time threatens to turn

So show me compassion let me access my mind
Send the gifts when I need them not when you feel kind
My journey is fruitful my conquest near done
So please dear gifts be my radiant sun"

                                                    -    Frustrated TriggerDot feeling poetic!

.....outta my mind....sing it, baby....

I completed the song 'Broken Man' in September of 2011 in time to include it verbatum in my book which was published in December 2011, just over 12 months ago. The reason for my including it in the book was to show my readers that I had written a song with no background in music, no experience in song writing or singing. All that I had was an inspiration in the form of words and a vision of what the song would sound like if and when I recorded it. I wanted others to understand that ANYBODY can do new stuff if they put their MIND to it. In the book I think I said I hoped to record the song sometime in 2012 but with no knowledge of the music industry, no contacts or network of musicians, how was I to do that? Hmmmmm..........
I had no idea how to do it and I didn't even know if I wanted to do it. After all I had no intention of writing a song. It just sorta .....happened. And I still don't know why. All that I know is that I had made a life commitment to ME to re-invent myself in a creative field of some sort and I was doing that with the design of DotsHQ. But I kept THINKING about it.....lots!
I went as far as advertising in the local paper for musicians to 'jam' a song and also advertised on the bulletin board of the local shopping center. And I had interest but I couldn't get a full band together and I also needed a female lead singer to sing the important part of Red. It got too hard so I left it 'for later'.

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....felt like a bit of colour......

But something was bothering me. I kept repeating the song in my head every day, over and over. I would wake up with an idea for the song, change of words, change of structure. The vision was strong. I knew that I couldn't leave it but it was important that I learn how to build a website with a BLOG thingie to try and build up some interest for the recently published book. No money to pay for some of the lucrative publishing and marketing packages was a biiiig problem so I had to do it all myself. It was 'pull the hair out' time. I was not just broke. I was frustrated at all of the time taken to get where I wanted to be. BUT........
There was something happening. All of this CREATIVE stuff was giving me a big BUZZ. I could see the forrest. It was a long way a way but just being able to see it was exhiliarating. BUZZ was building........

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.....HEY BUZZZ....

In between the accumulation of knowledge through reading, which was still THE most important part of my comeback, I was writing quite a bit of verse, poems if you like. I had noooo intention of becoming a poet but I was enjoying the creative aspect, the BUZZ of insight. With my intention to write more books I thought the poems would come in handy at some stage of the journey. But as well as the BUZZ the creativity of poems was giving me, I also found that the words were FLOWING easily. The poem above took me 10 minutes, the poem a few days ago the same so it was not a laborious task.I was enjoying creating something and I could see potential for an income of some sort......maybe. So my re-invention of ME was taking shape as I had hoped. I had written and published a book which I was proud of. I had written and performed some poems to live (and large) audiences. Cooool. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself any more. I had made it out of Devil's Dip...........ALIVE! The transition, the re-building of ME was under way.

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