".....CREEEEEPY......"
I had a baaaad day with the NEGOBS yesterday. I went to one of the soup kitchens and there was a very EEE-VIL vibe. A lot of the 'patrons' were seemingly juiced up and the environment was threatening. I didn't hang around and left without eating. Then walking home I had a couple of people yell out some obscenities from their cars. I got back to La Chateau Tento and just didn't feel right. Then there was lightning and I started questioning myself and my journey. The negativity was quite overwhelming to be honest. I tried to read a wonderful book called "Recovering The Soul" by Larry Dorsey, which I am really into. It's about consciousness, the mind and the soul, which are pretty much one and the same.
"....Leave me alone...."
I kept hearing things. But I knew I was listening FOR them. I was weakened. The dark side was closing in on me. Paranoia was rife. I just didn't feel safe and I am rarely feeling like that. I prayed. Evil was definitely in the air. I found it cutting. I used all of my knowledge to distract the NEGOBS. But they persisted, pretty much all night. I kept trying to sleep, and then to read with little success.
Why was I so vulnerable? Is there something happening that I am unaware of? What was making me doubt myself when I have been strong for such a long time? Was this a message? Was I being taken? Was there a hidden message trying to destroy my journey? Was my faith in myself and God being tested?
The questions kept infiltrating my armour with ease. Honestly I was scaaared. This hadn't happened before. WHY??
At first light I was exhausted. My nerves were still very much on edge. Then....
"SQUARRK, SQUARRK....". Crows. You know what they represent!! I jumped. It felt like two metres....horizontally!
But then I remembered. The crows are my friends. They let me know when snakes are around. There are three of them who have been my warning snake system for over a year. Phew!!!
Then the sun broke through with brilliant sunshine and the skies were blue and cloudless. I listened to the waves breaking as I always do. And I meditated.
It was a new day.
The NEGOBS had a real crack at me. I survived.
My journey continues.
All it did is make me stronger.
The dark side is always around waiting to eat us up, and then spit us out. It will happen and it will get us scared, paranoid and will weaken us so that our journey won't continue. But there's something more powerful, than darkness...............
ME
Why was I so vulnerable? Is there something happening that I am unaware of? What was making me doubt myself when I have been strong for such a long time? Was this a message? Was I being taken? Was there a hidden message trying to destroy my journey? Was my faith in myself and God being tested?
The questions kept infiltrating my armour with ease. Honestly I was scaaared. This hadn't happened before. WHY??
At first light I was exhausted. My nerves were still very much on edge. Then....
"SQUARRK, SQUARRK....". Crows. You know what they represent!! I jumped. It felt like two metres....horizontally!
But then I remembered. The crows are my friends. They let me know when snakes are around. There are three of them who have been my warning snake system for over a year. Phew!!!
Then the sun broke through with brilliant sunshine and the skies were blue and cloudless. I listened to the waves breaking as I always do. And I meditated.
It was a new day.
The NEGOBS had a real crack at me. I survived.
My journey continues.
All it did is make me stronger.
The dark side is always around waiting to eat us up, and then spit us out. It will happen and it will get us scared, paranoid and will weaken us so that our journey won't continue. But there's something more powerful, than darkness...............
ME
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