"Feeling the footsteps of fear I cautiously looked behind
Nothing I could see but the vision of a troubled mind
'Evil' the Stalker was there watching, waiting to pounce
Petrified I staggered ahead, no feeling, no bounce
Started sweating profusely, my heart racing with anxiety
Was that a shadow, or some other menacing propriety
How close is this 'Evil', heavy breathing down my neck
Is this real or should I keep my paranoia in check
Trembling with fear I looked back expecting the worst
My mind creating that vision, a final journey in a hurst
I started to run into the darkened alley ahead
Seeking solace from the danger, the evil Stalker I dread
Panic. I stumbled. Fell forward into my dream
Looked over my shoulder and waited, the end nigh it would seem
It was then that I looked up into fear, the missing love I can see
Thank God I smiled, and sighed a gust of relief
For that vision, my past, that Stalker, was ME...."
- aka Moi
- aka Brendan Lauritz
Regrets? Oh shoot yeah...
But where are those mistakes and regrets? They are behind me. So I can stop. Turn around and enjoy their company ........... NNNNOT ............. Or I can choose what I believe is a much better alternative. I can glance at them over my shoulder and smile ...... and then move forward into my dream where I have some control. I can manifest my dream into life, into a STORY where I don't mind what I see when I look over my shoulder into the past.
Each and every one of us suffers from the damage caused by the evil NEGOBS, the NEGATIVITY caused by OBSTACLES. The obstacles are MOMENTS IN TIME outside of our control. The car crash, the heart attack, the unexpected financial wipeout ..... and the reasons go on. But it is the NEGATIVITY, the anger, the depression, the grief, revenge, heartbreak, the sorrow .... that plays with our minds and are the destructive part of the NEGOBS. Some of us are blessed with great support networks to help us, great family, great friends ........ BUT ....
it is our own fear that controls the decisions to help us handle the emotional trauma that tries to dictate the CHOICES we make. So...
If we have a medical problem we can have treatment to right the wrong, even major surgery. Heart surgery, brain surgery.....
But what about a problem that stops us in our tracks. What about the grief? What about the heartbreak caused by loss of our partner or friend even. Have you ever heard of MIND surgery. Hmmmm.... doubt it!
There has to be a greater existence than this one life. Universal consciousness is the unexplained, the unknown ..... but the REASON, the MEANING. If we believe that there is something 'out-there' that started the whole shebang then it is easier to comprehend our MEs, our Mister Someone Out-There. This consciousness feeds each one of us our thoughts. Then we make the CHOICES, good or bad, that guide us through our lives. Once we choose our headgear brain thingies tell our bodies what to do and how to act. Not really too complicated when you think about it. Our Eastern world brothers and sisters have been living those 'dreams' forever. And that simplistic explanation of "WHY WE BE" sure makes more sense than the Big Bang Theory, weeeell to moi anyway. So by calling out for HEEEELP to 'Someone Out-There' when we are grieving, depressed, lonely ...... then we are calling out to a Universal Consciousness, the Mister Someone Out-There that lives in each of us. A simple matter of Self-Belief will help with the Negativity part of the NEGOBS......
But it 'ain't easy. That's why we have the suffering and pain from the Obstacles part of NEGOBS. The rock bottoms make us search for the Reason, the Meaning.... Mmmmm Hmmmm.......
and guess what.....
Yours truly, Moi struggles with this part on a daily basis.
Because the Self-Belief is directly related to Self-Love which goes missing usually when we are at our lowest. And so the fight begins. The fight for self-esteem. The fight for LOVE, the Universal Consciousness kinda LOVE.
I know where I am going. I fortunately left Miser-ee, the town of fear, loneliness and despair, a long time ago. I know where my Destin-ee is. It is a town where there is no negativity. A town where there is the manifestation of the Dream Of Life. The town where I will find reward for my Self Belief. The town of Happy-Me. That town of......