THE WINDOW
"Sometimes I dread what's in my head
All caused by life now past
My MIND so active spraying thoughts
Distractions from a future blast
I look ahead a vacant stare
The window comes between
A division of reality
And what might seem a dream
And so I look beyond the pane
The vision of untold beauty
For what I see in awe I'll be
My mind breeds thought astutely
Right through the glass I see the grass
The trees with leaves they live
And there the sun up in the sky
A light that's real to give
But how I wonder how it be
This beauty given to behold
The window is the instrument
See through this pane our life unfold"
- TriggerDot
aka Brendan Lauritz
Wake up doggy. LOOK. LOOOOK... While on my homeless Journey and on my enforced ‘camping expedition’ for 5 years, like anything in life there are things that you get used to doing if you do them often enough. Stuff that we all take for granted like home cooked meals, television and nice comfy Queen sized beds with cotton sheets and fluffy pillows are no longer a ‘normal’ way
of life. But you get used to the replacements. The soup kitchens, the boredom and the sleeping bags or thin mattresses. When there is no choice you have to adjust to the conditions. But one thing you don’t get used to when sleeping out is the lack of security. The lack of four walls to protect. The sleeping with
one eye open. The lack of privacy. The loneliness. The humiliation. The
Miser-ee……
But there are ‘trade-offs’. The good to come from bad. The negatives to positives. The biggest PLUS is the OPPORTUNITY TO THINK. Aaargh Haargh. No television. Nobody to talk to. What do you do? Lights go out when the sun goes down. Hmmmm…. More restrictions. But there are some options available. Mmm Hmm. You can hit the bottle or the drugs. That’s a pretty popular choice for people with little left. Pure escapism. But a saaaad choice because it leaves precious little hope for a change in circumstance. It draws you closer to the edge. Closer to the end. But by then you don’t care too much anyway. It’s why they overdose. Most don’t do it intentionally. But they sorta do. They just don’t know which trip it’ll happen. Pretty sad when you watch it happening in real life.
Then there’s Plan B. Find some sorta inexpensive refuge like a beaten up old van to sleep in. Or a nice outta the way piece of bush in the middle of nowhere. Or find places like under stairwells, commercial rubbish bins and park conveniences…. And then rotate regularly so you don’t get caught. Pretty lonely existence though. Or there’s the tent. You have to do it on Government or Crown land usually because the fees at caravan parks are unaffordable, especially in City areas. Then you have to adopt the ‘suck it and see’ principle. Move often because you have to. And that’s what this is about……
of life. But you get used to the replacements. The soup kitchens, the boredom and the sleeping bags or thin mattresses. When there is no choice you have to adjust to the conditions. But one thing you don’t get used to when sleeping out is the lack of security. The lack of four walls to protect. The sleeping with
one eye open. The lack of privacy. The loneliness. The humiliation. The
Miser-ee……
But there are ‘trade-offs’. The good to come from bad. The negatives to positives. The biggest PLUS is the OPPORTUNITY TO THINK. Aaargh Haargh. No television. Nobody to talk to. What do you do? Lights go out when the sun goes down. Hmmmm…. More restrictions. But there are some options available. Mmm Hmm. You can hit the bottle or the drugs. That’s a pretty popular choice for people with little left. Pure escapism. But a saaaad choice because it leaves precious little hope for a change in circumstance. It draws you closer to the edge. Closer to the end. But by then you don’t care too much anyway. It’s why they overdose. Most don’t do it intentionally. But they sorta do. They just don’t know which trip it’ll happen. Pretty sad when you watch it happening in real life.
Then there’s Plan B. Find some sorta inexpensive refuge like a beaten up old van to sleep in. Or a nice outta the way piece of bush in the middle of nowhere. Or find places like under stairwells, commercial rubbish bins and park conveniences…. And then rotate regularly so you don’t get caught. Pretty lonely existence though. Or there’s the tent. You have to do it on Government or Crown land usually because the fees at caravan parks are unaffordable, especially in City areas. Then you have to adopt the ‘suck it and see’ principle. Move often because you have to. And that’s what this is about……
EYE LOOK. EYE SEE.... No matter where you set up there are going to be problems. Floods. Cops. Snakes. Derelicts. Somebody or something will always find you know matter how careful you are. And it wears you down. Big time. I was ‘lucky’ I guess. I had a reason to live. I was born to come back. It was what it was.
Only time…..
But what wears you down is the sleeping with eyes wide shut. With one eye open. You have to if you are in there for the long haul. Eventually that something or somebody will get you. And so you wait. You listen with your eyes shut but you aren’t asleep. THAT wears you down……
But over time you learn. Big lessons. I have said many times there are OPPORTUNITIES in hardship. One of those opportunities is that you learn to THINK. About yourself. About your situation. About LIFE……
Only time…..
But what wears you down is the sleeping with eyes wide shut. With one eye open. You have to if you are in there for the long haul. Eventually that something or somebody will get you. And so you wait. You listen with your eyes shut but you aren’t asleep. THAT wears you down……
But over time you learn. Big lessons. I have said many times there are OPPORTUNITIES in hardship. One of those opportunities is that you learn to THINK. About yourself. About your situation. About LIFE……
Safe and sound but I can't SEE See, it’s like this. The true definition of ‘Homeless’ is living without a home. A place of refuge. A ‘Safe’ house. Living without four brick walls to protect you. It’s sooooo nice to be curled up under the doona on a freezing cold and rainy night. Had a nice dinner, watched a bit of telly and now. “Oooooh, I love going to sleep listening to the rain”……
Yep it is nice. Nothing baaaad can happen with those four walls protecting you. Hmmmm…. Maybe. But how do you know you’re safe?
You can’t see outside. Which is pretty saaaad as well. Because you can’t see the beauty outside. The four walls stops you ‘seeing’. Aaaaarrggh Haarrgghh............
But I have a window in my room”.
Cop that!
Oh WOW. You lucky thing. Four walls to protect you AND you can see outside as weeeell. Oh man. THAT is sooooo coooool.
What can you see outside? Huh? Oh you don’t open the blinds. Oh….. Dear. You
mean you have a window to see the beauty outside but you don’t LOOK. Oh. That’s
saaaad. So very saaaad. See, the window is there for you to SEE OUT. But if you
don’t LOOK out you won’t be able to SEE, right? You still have wonderful
protection with the four walls AND you have a WINDOW to LOOK out of. Full
protection with an OPPORTUNITY to SEE the beauty outside. Oh WOW. The weather. The people. The clouds. The sky. The sun. The flowers. Buildings. Life. But you don’t LOOK. Hmmmm…. But then you won’t SEE.
Do yourselves a favor. Don’t do life the hard way like I did. I was in a tent for a loooong time and had to LEARN to SEE. Your Upper Case ME is your WINDOW PANE. Or should that read WINDOW PAIN?
Your body is your window pain of life. It is there for you your whole life. But
you must CHOOSE TO LOOK if you wish to SEE. Don’t wait. Look out the window.
See the beauty. Find the dream…….
Oh yeah.
Yep it is nice. Nothing baaaad can happen with those four walls protecting you. Hmmmm…. Maybe. But how do you know you’re safe?
You can’t see outside. Which is pretty saaaad as well. Because you can’t see the beauty outside. The four walls stops you ‘seeing’. Aaaaarrggh Haarrgghh............
But I have a window in my room”.
Cop that!
Oh WOW. You lucky thing. Four walls to protect you AND you can see outside as weeeell. Oh man. THAT is sooooo coooool.
What can you see outside? Huh? Oh you don’t open the blinds. Oh….. Dear. You
mean you have a window to see the beauty outside but you don’t LOOK. Oh. That’s
saaaad. So very saaaad. See, the window is there for you to SEE OUT. But if you
don’t LOOK out you won’t be able to SEE, right? You still have wonderful
protection with the four walls AND you have a WINDOW to LOOK out of. Full
protection with an OPPORTUNITY to SEE the beauty outside. Oh WOW. The weather. The people. The clouds. The sky. The sun. The flowers. Buildings. Life. But you don’t LOOK. Hmmmm…. But then you won’t SEE.
Do yourselves a favor. Don’t do life the hard way like I did. I was in a tent for a loooong time and had to LEARN to SEE. Your Upper Case ME is your WINDOW PANE. Or should that read WINDOW PAIN?
Your body is your window pain of life. It is there for you your whole life. But
you must CHOOSE TO LOOK if you wish to SEE. Don’t wait. Look out the window.
See the beauty. Find the dream…….
Oh yeah.
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