if you are thirsty for love.
Do not fear, there is always water
if your lips are parched.
Do not fear your ruin, inside you
there is a treasure.
Open your eyes, for this world
is only a dream."
Rumi (yeeeesss, agaain!)
But that night under the stars I remember only too well because I didn't sleep at all. Not one second. And that was because of two things. My past was defeating me. I was in exile and self sympathy was about to consume me. The other thing that caused me to become so restless is that something was happening inside my head. I was alone on the beach, only the crashing of the waves to keep me company. I just stargazed for a while, not really thinking anything. It was one of those perfect crystal clear nights where the entire sky was filled with the biggest, brightest stars I had ever noticed. And there were seemingly millions of them.
I picked one star that I liked (or it picked me). Then I just stared at it for ages. Even though there were others I only focussed on one star. No different to the millions of others really. To me right at that point in time the star was simply a dot. Then I remember looking at the lights of all the nearby highrises. Something wasn't right. It had taken the entire human existence, (however long that is) to get to a point where we could construct amazing buildings. But up in the sky there were stars everywhere. I was confused. Where DID they come from? I looked back to MY star, "ME" dot. I don't tell many people this story as I am sure people will begin to question my sanity. I didn't think I would be able to find that star again because it was so much like all of the others, white and bright, about dead centre of the universe. But one star, "ME" star had separated from the rest quite noticeably. I talked to it. Now even I questioned my own sanity! I kept watching it. Then it disappeared. There were no clouds. Right in front of me that one star, that one dot, disappeared before my very eyes.
I kept watching. The space that my star had created, now mingled with the other stars. But where did mine go? I was completely straight, if you were wondering. And I was relaxed (as I could be). And I was staring straight at it when.....bye bye "ME" star.
Then I began to think about all of the other stars. I began to entertain the thought of "ME" dot, and 7 billion other dots. If all of those 'dots' in the sky connected, like all of the people on this planet, then we would be one, we would be a whole. And this is when my journey began. It is where I found my inner self that I call Mister SomeOne Out-There, who I had cried out to for help earlier that day! When "ME" star disappeared, I became a part of the Universe that I was looking at. I became one with myself. I found ME. Hmmmmmm.......
What was happening to me?
Tomorrow : Triggerology (Part 3)
Facts and Figures