THE BE IN ME
Why am I here? Who am I ? Where do I come from ?
Pretty easy questions to answer if you have an opinion
I used to be an ape, or a fish, a rock at some stage
Maybe a frog one kiss turned into a handsome paige
The scientists tell me we all started with a Big Bang
Well no ship Sherlock as Daddy gave Mummy a twang
Obviously Adam and the snake into Eve gave a start
Yeah but where'd the rib come from to make the legs part
Well the rib came from Adam yeah but how'd he appear
That's easy, back to Big Bang, he's made of carbon I hear
Oh I get it now Adam copped an extra carbonated bit
And then Eve was ribbed and the extra bit became a hit
See there wasn't any telly or cars, drugs or grog
Only the two of them and Big Bang, no hair of the dog
And so it was that the human race we now see
Obvious answers to questions how I came to be me
But if I were you I wouldn't get too carried away
with the Big Bang theory how Adam rolled Eve in the hay
There's gotta be more like where'd the carbon come from
That gave Adam the tip to help Eve play along
So if you're struggling with all of the reasons we be
Look no further than a flower or a tree
For Divine beauty is all that there needs to be known
The rest doesn't matter the seed of creation has grown
- Brendan Lauritz
See I went to the Library (yep still do it) and found these two interesting DVD thingies. One called "Wonders Of The Universe" and the other "Wonders of the Solar System". Now because I have become a bit fruit loopy after all the pain and suffering stuff I thought a bit of extra knowledge wouldn't hurt, even though I tort I'd read it all before. But alas NO. Oh this stuff is nerve shattering mind blowing information of a different kind. This no less is up the date (sorry 'up TO date') ship for my "UIB" (useless information book).
Now see there's this dude who I have never heard of before (don't forget I was missing in the Stairway To Harvard for a few years!). His name is Professor Brian Cox. No doubt many of you know of him. Now this guy is good. I really like him. Obviously smart 'cause he's a Professor but not a Nutty one. See he's into media stuff thingies and promotes himself on TV and does DVD thingies for the BBC. And he seems pretty normal for a genius. I watched the 'Universe' DVD thingie. Ooooh maaaan, this guys good. He knew about heaps of stuff that normal people can't understand. Therefore it makes him look smart because you assume he is, without really knowing 'cause you can't understand what you're watching. But me. Nup. Uh uh. No way. I'm one of the tent people. I needed to know more about this guy. I Wiki'ed him. Yep, apart from the fact he's a genius there's other stuff about him that normal people don't know. Like he was in People Magazine's Sexiest People On the Planet thingie in 2009. Mmmmm Hmmm...... and .... cop this ...
He was a keyboard player for a big UK band called D-Ream. Mmmm Hmmm .... remember "Thingies can only get better-erer, Can only get better-erer, Now I found you and you and you and you". Mazing huh? Genius band boy.....
Oh, and he's worth around 8 million UK pound which is lots I think.....
So anyway his DVD on the Universe is really coooool. He talks about the Big Bang..... It was then I realised. Doctor Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory. Yep. All made sense. The Nutty Professor is a Sheldon Cooper wannabee. Mmmm Hmmm......
But he's still very good. He doesn't talk in sweets like hundreds and thousands. He talks BIIIG. Everything is millions, billions and trillions. I kept waiting for the answers to the questions. The "Why Me Be" thingies. And he had me going. I was ready to join the Nutty Professor cult. But then. Weeeell there's stuff he came out with like in one hundred trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion, trillion, trillion (seriously that's what he said) the last star of 30 million million million stars will Big Bang and that will be the end of WE. No more. Just nothing. No more stars to 'bang'. So obviously Eve will be disappointed up the other end of the 'How We Be' Universe. But you know, by then I'm going to be very old or very deaded and definitely not interested in any sort of Bangs!
To explain my paranoia with all things Universal I'm one of these 'Infinite Regress" dudes that always has to ask a question to an answer and the Nutty Professor was coming up with all the right stuff. Like this for instance. When one of the googillion stars goes Big Bang it is called a Supernova. All these gases generated by all the bangin' turn into 92 different elements. One of those elements is Carbon. And carbon is what creates life. So as much as you thought I'm full of ship I'm not. I'm full of carbon! And so are you and everything else. OhK. I thought he had me. Finally there was no God. Only smart scientists. But I had one last question for Nutty. OhK.....
Where did the stars come from to go Big Bang. That's when Nutty began to blow bubbles. No really, get the DVD. This genius is sitting in the middle of a desert all by himself blowing bubbles through one of those bubble blowing thingies. He was trying to explain that Mister Proton would hump Mrs Neutron and create these thingies that grew into.......... anyway that's when I lost him. A grown man blowing bubbles to explain how WE BE. It was sorta like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest".
I mean who do I believe ? The Nutty Professor Bubble Blower or the man who stars in his own show Doctor Sheldon Cooper.
Anyway gotta get back to the music. See ya.
"I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air .......